Thursday, March 12, 2009

Top Model: Elimination #2

I had to pause while watching "Top Model" last night so I could laugh. Seriously. My DVR has never gotten such a workout before!

There are really no adequate words to describe Tyra, so I figured I'd let her speak for herself. It was the makeover episode, and Tyra presents the "mission" to Mr. J and Ms. J on a small device, fancying herself to be very Mission: Impossible. Dressed in a trench coat and a hideously ill-fitting hat, Tyra says to the J's:

Good morning Mr. J, Ms. J. Here's your mission, if you choose to accept it:

In your hands are 12 dossiers of 12 busted-up models. I need you to transform these wannabes into high fashion, top, fierce, femme-fatalian models. And yes, I know this mission is going to be difficult.

There will be tears, there will be begging, there will be "oh, no, not my hair!"

But I don't care.

Cut it. Slice it. Dice it.

Really?? REALLY?? Oh, Tyra. You delight me.

The "dossiers" are completely costume-y, with CONFIDENTIAL: For fierce eyes only written on them. That made me laugh, but not as much as Mr. J trying to keep a straight face through the whole Mission: Impossible skit. Ms. J had no problem "getting into character."

The car that the girls get this season is ... amazing. It's a pink. plaid. stretch. SUV. limo. It's just so, so pink. And so gloriously plaid. I had to pause and catch my breath when it pulled in, I was laughing so hard.

The photo challenge was, I thought, very interesting this week. The girls got these big lights (reminds me of the thingies that air control people use) that they were to use to light themselves. Kind of cool, right? How can you not find your light when you're holding it in your hands??

Not such a successful shoot, I have to say. I really liked Celia's photo, even though the actual girl still scares the bejeebus out of me (with the platinum hair, even more so):

She seemed to be the only one that had spent any amount of time practicing in front of her mirror before coming onto the show, though her age could have something to do with it- at 25, she's the oldest (and hopefully most mature) girl this season.

Makeovers brought drama, of course. The only two that really irritated me: Fo and Natalie.

I liked Fo and wanted to continue liking her ... but she cried, and cried, and cried, and CRIED. Get over it already, hair grows back. And then she cried on set and annoyed Nigel. No good.

Natalie didn't even get a trim, but she freaked out when the posh posse came at her, combs and scissors in hand. She literally freaked out, and I hate that crap. You know you're getting a makeover when you get selected for the show, suck it up! And I still don't think she's pretty, with her squinty eyes and little mouth. She always had one eyebrow up, which just looks snotty. Ew, ew, ew. So over this girl.

At the end of the day, Miss Caliente, Jessica, got kicked out. She was way too confident over the three hours I saw her, and she looks vaguely like Adriana Lima. Do we need another Adriana? One is enough, methinks.

This group was, by far, the worst in their photos. They all look dead and uninteresting, neon Muppet fur coats or no.

Not a memorable episode (the challenge- yawn), so it better pick up by next week, or I'm going to start watching the whole show at double speed.


william March 14, 2009 at 4:40 AM  

yeah the entire episode was pretty horroche. why do all the photos as of late look dark and grainy?

jeanny March 14, 2009 at 12:57 PM  

I think they're supposed to be edgy and artistic. Or something.