Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Past. Present. Future?

I started working in visual effects in May of 2003. That's right, almost six years ago. Oy gevalt, I'm old.

At that first job, I worked on commercials, videogame cinematics, a (memorable) music video, the USA Pavilion's film for the 2005 World Expo, television graphics, a ride film for Busch Gardens, and lots of other small projects ("small" being smaller than a movie).

They were chaotic, exciting, very full two years (just shy of two years), constantly working on multiple shows. I worked hard, I played hard, and I had the zeal that only a green newcomer can possibly maintain. (During this job is when I went through a very long tequila phase.)

Then came the movies. I actually worked my way up, starting with made-for-TV movies. I have never worked so hard in my life. I worked more than 100 hours a week (all I did was work and sleep) and I lost that effervescent energy that I'd managed to maintain for the two previous years. I mourned the loss of my innocence, I do remember that. (Mourned with ... more tequila.)

I ran away from those endless hours and ran to feature films, where I have been ever since (August of 2005). For the most part, it's been enjoyable and rewarding to be in this line of work.

Every now and again, though, I can't help but wonder what my life would be if I had chosen a different field. Would something be different? Would I live somewhere else? Would I have different friends, a different car, a different outlook? How would I be a different person?

Because of all of these incessant questions that I keep asking myself, I am now thinking of pursuing my career somewhere other than in L.A. I've worked exclusively in L.A. (well, different parts of L.A.- Hollywood, Brentwood, Marina del Rey, Culver City, but it all boils down to L.A.) and would like to know what it's like outside of this strange city.

I never thought that this was a weird place until I started paying attention to what's going on outside, in the real world. Now I feel like I should experience for myself what other cities are like, perhaps what other countries are like.

Nothing might come of this. I might never leave this city. I might always work in this particular business in this particular area. That's all fine, as long as I do not have doubts and regrets at the end of the day.

I have been talking to some companies other than the one I am currently working for, and one of them is in a different country. If they offer me a job and everything works out (timing, money, project, people), then maybe it was meant to be.

No regrets no matter what.