Showing posts with label family. Show all posts
Showing posts with label family. Show all posts

Monday, September 23, 2013

Happy Birthday, Sister!

It's my baby sister's birthday!

In continuing my tradition of having a meal on behalf of my birthday'ed family members, here's what I think my sister would have enjoyed had she been in Korea with me (rather than in Brazil on business):


Octopus! 쭈꾸미, which is rather small octopi that, in this case, is cooked in a spicy (spicy!!) sauce with bean sprouts (콩나물), which my sister loves. Yum.


After the octopus, the remaining sauce and bits of octopus are fried up with rice and dried laver and chives, and it's delicious. And there's a little happy face made of octopus pieces!

So, sister of mine, hope you're having a happy birthday in Brazil with plenty of cheese and some cake!

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Wednesday, September 18, 2013

Happy Birthday, 아빠!

I'm behind on blogging! There have been a lot of developments, which is why ... not a good excuse, but an excuse all the same. Ah, well.

My father's birthday is the 18th (yes, after my mother's birthday on the 5th and my sister's upcoming birthday on the 23rd, which makes me the only person in my nuclear family with a birthday outside of September), which happens to be the first day of the Chuseok holiday here in Korea. 

Chuseok is pretty much Korean Thanksgiving, and this year, it very fortuitously falls on Thursday, which means that including the weekend, it's a lovely five-day weekend! Hooray!

Anyway. In celebration of Dad's birthday, two of his favorite things- pork and soju:


I miss my family! Hopefully, I get to go to LA in the winter ... we'll see. For now, happy birthday, 아빠!

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Thursday, September 05, 2013

Happy Birthday, 엄마!!

It's my mother's birthday today! She's on vacation with Dad; they are the cutest couple that I know. And speaking of cute, how cute was my mother when she was a baby?!


엄마, 생신 축하축하~~! 환갑을 재미있게 보내세요! ㅋㅋ

Though I miss my family constantly, technology is amazing- my mother texts me even while on a trip, my sister and I use Kakaotalk regularly, and we all e-mail each other. Thank goodness for that, or I wouldn't be able to stay in Korea!

Happy birthday to my mommy and her many, many birthdays still to come!

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Monday, September 24, 2012

Happy Birthday, Little Sister!

My sister's birthday is the 23rd, meaning that the birthdays of all my nuclear family members? September.

It makes September an extra-hard month to be away from LA, be away from the people whose birthdays I would like to celebrate with a hug and cake and gifts and more cake.

The world has gotten much smaller, of course. My mother sends text messages and knows how to FaceTime. Sending and receiving photos over Apple's Messages almost gives me the feeling that I'm right there. FaceTime gives me even more of that feeling.

My sister and I, being of the younger generation and all, use KakaoTalk, which means texting, sending photos and videos, and sharing wackadoodle things is even faster for us. Instant, even, the only barrier being the time difference between LA and Korea (it's a big time difference).

For instance, I texted my sister via KakaoTalk that I went on a bicycle ride for the first time in fifteen years or so. Even back then, I wasn't a good bicyclist- we never owned a bicycle in our youth, so we just randomly biked when friends came over and such.

Lake Park, right next to my work and home in Korea, has a very well-planned bike route that's just about five kilometers. After a very shaky first loop during which I was scared to fall more than enjoying the ride, I've come to appreciate bikes and Lake Park.

So ... that was a long detour, but anyway, my point was that when I texted with my sister about bicycling, we agreed that when she came to visit me in Korea, we would go on a bike ride.

Sister, here's a panorama that I took at Lake Park, the lake that you will see when you come to visit:

I hope your birthday was joyful and wonderful and all those other superlatives, and come visit me soon, before it gets too cold! Lake Park's weather waits for no one.

Big hugs and cake!

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Wednesday, September 19, 2012

Happy Birthday, 아빠!

My father's birthday is September 18. My mother, sweet lady that she is, bought him a new grill (!) for his birthday gift. The weather in L.A. has been, apparently, hot enough to still be called summery, so the parents have been grilling like mad.

See the chocolate-dipped fruit in the glass? I sent my dad a bouquet of chocolaty and fruity goodness, since sending him flowers is a little weird. I really miss my parents' very frequent barbecuing; it's simple and hearty but delicious and comforting in a way that I've only ever experienced at my parents' house.

Since I'm not in L.A. celebrating with my family (though my sister just got back to L.A. from a business trip in Madrid and is jet-lagged like mad), I celebrated with friends.
Alright, Dad's not such a sake fan (he is a Korean man that was born and raised in the motherland, after all) but he does like croquettes.

Actually, he either likes croquettes or I think he would like croquettes, it's one or the other. My reasoning is, he loves mashed potatoes. He loves fried things (I'm pretty sure fried chicken is one of his all-time top five foods). Croquettes are just mashed potatoes that are deep fried. Croquettes in Korea are also slathered with mayonnaise and tonkatsu sauce, with sliced fish flakes on top (katsuobushi).
Intestines! I really wish I had taken my dad to have gopchang (곱창) when he was in Korea. I think he would have liked the food, enjoyed grilling it himself, and eaten more onions than is wise (he loves onions).

These are just two foods that make me think of my father, though I've never had either dish with him. They are things that I look forward to having with him.

아빠 한국 놀러올때 꼭!꼭! 먹자!

Happy 60th, Dad!

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Wednesday, September 05, 2012

Happy Birthday, 엄마!

In the U.S., it is my mother's birthday today (September 5).

She likes to say that she is 60, but she's not. She's been saying she's 60 for years and years, and she's still not 60!

Because I'm so far away, I can't give my mommy a hug. But I can send her flowers, which I did. She sent me photos of them today, one of which is this one:

엄마, 생일 잘 지내고있지? 너무 보고싶고, 영화끝나고 빨리 미국 놀러갈께!

너무너무 사랑하고 고마워~~

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Monday, June 25, 2012

Updates!

My poor blog, it's fallen completely off my radar for a while!

After getting back from LA and my grandfather's funeral, my parents came to Korea (yay!) so I spent some time with them-- not as much as I would have liked, but they were mostly down in our hometown (Jeonju, 전주), and I had to stay up in Ilsan (일산) and work like a little demon. My parents actually came to Korea just before my birthday, but I didn't even get to see them on my actual birthday.

(The birthday, by the way, was the big three-oh and I was only mildly freaked out, unlike my twenty-fifth, when I had a nervous breakdown from perceiving myself to be getting old.)

Aren't my parents cute?? I worry about them a lot in Korea (I worry about them a lot in L.A., but even more so in Korea) and they think it's funny that I'm so over-protective of them here. But it's true! They're not very Korean anymore, they're quite Americanized, and not used to the bustle of Korea.

The weekend before they left, it was my maternal great-aunt's birthday dinner. My mother is very close to her aunt, and they're very alike, so I'm glad that they had a chance to catch up. My great-aunt's getting older, too, now that she's in her 80's, but her mind is still as sharp as ever.
I really should have taken the photo in a better location, but I was snapping pictures on my phone ... in the parking garage ... in MyeongDong (명동), one of the busiest shopping areas in Korea. In my defense, I had rushed to dinner after leaving work frantically early to try to make it on time, taking two subways for more than an hour. It was a madhouse for me, in other words, and my family's lucky that I showed up in one piece.

The dinner was nice because I'm still not used to seeing so much of my family together all at once, and I really love my great-aunt. She's opinionated, strong, loving, sweet, and painfully honest. All things to admire in someone who's just turned 81!

My dad left on Sunday and my mother left on Thursday. I was in Beijing from Monday to Wednesday last week for some meetings, so my mother and I escorted dear Dad to the airport then met with my cousin in Seoul (he and my mother are close), had dinner and coffee, and then my mother and I came back to my apartment, exhausted. I packed for China and my mother packed to go to my great-aunt's, where they could have some quality time together, and then we parted ways on Monday.
Beijing was Beijing, as it always is. It struck me this time around that it was my sixth trip to the city and I still had no idea where anything was and I'd still never seen any of the tourist-y sights. I've still not seen anything truly in that vein, like the Great Wall (which I really want to see!) or the Forbidden City. Maybe next time.

I got back to Korea on Wednesday, went straight into the office, and then went home to have a last dinner with my mother before sending her off to American on Thursday.

Saturday was spent working, but Sunday was spent missing my family. I am now, this week, starting to get back in the groove of things, a groove that I haven't had since well before flying to Australia. Who knew it could be such a long, hard road to normalcy?

Blogging is part of that normalcy, of course, so I'm going to try to stick with it. Even if it's just a photo or a couple dashed-off lines of text.

There is always, in the back of my mind, the wondering and the nervousness and the excitement of what's coming next. I don't know how long I'm going to be in Korea for, and I don't know where I'm going to be in three months. I can't wait to find out!

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Thursday, May 31, 2012

R.I.P. 할아버지

My maternal grandfather passed away on Sunday at the age of 91 (he was 89 by American age reckoning).

After a very long life with five children and twelve grandchildren, he went quickly and without losing much of his sharp mind. What a life he's lived. And what a gracious gentleman he was, to the very end. He didn't suffer very much and he didn't cause others too much suffering with his passing.
The funeral process in Korea is very different from what I'm accustomed to from America. It's much longer and involves a lot more people. I was a little bit surprised by the amount of time we spent, as a family, in the funeral home.

I flew from LA to Korea on Friday (leaving on Thursday from LA and landing in Korea on Friday evening) and then spent Saturday in a jet-lagged daze. Because Monday was a public holiday in Korea (Buddha's birthday), I had planned to go down to Jeonju (my hometown) on Sunday and come back up to Ilsan on Monday, so that I could go into the office on Tuesday.

On Sunday morning, I woke up really early (thanks, jet-lag, thanks) and was surprised when my mother rang me up around 7:30 in the morning. My grandfather had passed away at 6:53.

The only cousin that I have that's older than me met me in Seoul so we could go down to Jeonju together. I threw some things in a bag, packed up all my electronics, and rushed over. We got to Jeonju in the afternoon and went straight to the funeral home, to my surprise.

What surprised me even further was that we, the family, were supposed to stay in the funeral home for three days. It's like sitting shiva for Jews, that's the closest equivalent I can think of. I've never been to a wake in the States, I've only ever attended funerals, so perhaps wakes are similar.

People come to the funeral home as they have time to pay their final respects. Younger members of the family (my generation, the grandchildren) greet guests at the front, where there's a handy desk with a guestbook, parking validation stamp, and locked box for envelopes of money (Koreans give money at weddings and funerals).

The guests generally came in, signed the guestbook, dropped off their envelopes of money, removed their shoes, and entered into the room where a large photograph of my grandfather sat among flowers. Some people performed deep bows (getting down on hands and knees), some people bowed their heads, some people took one of the white flowers and put them on the table in front of my grandfather's photograph, some people prayed; there were a variety of ways to pay respect.

There was always at least one male family member in the room, as after a guest pays their respects, one of the family members must be there to greet them, shake hands, accept condolences, and so forth. The family member then asked the guest to stay for a meal, and the guest moved into the next (large) room, which was set up like a restaurant.

Guests ate, some of them drank, my oldest uncle's proteges (he's a music professor) and some of the younger cousins acted as waiters, and we all shared stories about my grandfather. It's nice to say goodbye in that way, but it's also exhausting, to be honest.

The grandsons stayed at the funeral home all night long for two nights, because some guests arrived very late and it's bad form for no one to be there. The poor boys didn't get much sleep for two days-- though those of us that went home didn't get much sleep, either.

The funeral home, which is on the campus of a university hospital, is equipped for Korean funerals. There are black clothes for rent, including traditional Korean clothing, there are armbands for male family members (different stripes according to their relation to the deceased), there are candles (two were kept burning at all times), incense and incense holders for Buddhists, a safe in the back room (for the money), a shower, towels, a kitchen, kitchen staff that cooks and prepares all the food, and so on and so forth.

It's a huge production, to get a Korean funeral done. There's a saying that the people who take care of the funeral fall ill, and I now understand why they say it. For three or four days, there is no sleeping, sporadic meals, and then the constant grief.

Sunday passed in a whirl of guests, many of them acquainted with my parents and shocked at the fact that I'm fully grown. We didn't get home (I went to my oldest uncle's house, where my grandfather lived) until past midnight, everyone exhausted and looking awful.

Monday was a frightening day because it was the day that the funeral home prepares the body, during which family members are expected to participate. Turns out, participation is confined to spectating, other than when three of the guys had to help move my grandfather into his coffin and then all the males of the family carried the coffin out.
It's surreal to watch someone that you've loved all your life being cleaned and dressed in the clothing of funeral rites. It's even more surreal that he looked so much like my beloved grandfather but he wasn't moving, wasn't breathing, wasn't speaking, wasn't doing any of the things that I'd come to expect from him.

Because of his long life and his relatively easy passing, we had all managed to contain our tears. Many of my family members cried as we watched my grandfather being prepared for cremation and burial. It was the last time that any of us were ever going to see his face again.

On Tuesday, after I'd pumped myself full of Red Bull, we went to the funeral home for the last time, very early in the morning. We had a final service there before the coffin was transported to the cremation site, a depressing building full of surly workers and exhausted mourners.

The cremation took an hour and a half, a very short amount of time to reduce an entire person into an urn of ashes.

We took the urn and drove to the mountain where my great-grandparents are buried. My grandfather was buried beside his wife. They share one plaque.
The weather was sunny with soft breezes. Roses, my grandfather's favorite flower, were blooming all along the path up to his grave. It felt like his way of telling us that he was at peace and that it was okay to let go. He would have loved those roses, the weather, the fact that so many members of the family were together.

I hope he's with my grandmother. They haven't seen each other in seven years.

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Friday, September 23, 2011

Happy Birthday, Little Sister!

Today (it's finally the same day in Korea and America, for the next few hours!) is my little sister's birthday. Welcome to the late twenties, the water's fine!

The flower was photographed on my iPhone in Beijing. My sister's favorite color as a child was purple, and while this flower is more fuchsia than a real purple, it's still in the purple family. Also, the brighter green leaves look like perilla leaves, sometimes called shiso (깻잎, pronounced something like ggaetnip, or ggaet-neep). My sister loves ggaetnip (I do not).

I love you, sister of mine.

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Sunday, September 18, 2011

Happy Birthday, 아빠!


Yesterday (in Korea, today in the States) was my father's birthday. I was in Daegu, getting my wits scared out of me by a large green bug (praying mantis?) and my parents are currently on vacation in Canada. We are an international family, including my jetsetting sister.

I miss my family. I can't wait to see them again.

Preparing to go to China, so it's a zoo around here. Better blogging (and pictures from Daegu) once I'm back and rested up. I just wanted to wish Dad a joyous birthday before the 18th is over in North America!

(That photo above is from the subway last night, a wee dog with dyed fur. We saw bottles of pet fur dye in Daegu and were appalled. Figures that I would see an example of it the next day! I thought my dad would laugh at it.)

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Monday, September 12, 2011

Happy 추석!

Today (Monday, September 12) is 추석 (Chuseok), or Korean Thanksgiving. As I've mentioned before, I've never spent a major Korean holiday in Korea. I'm not used to having lots of family around, people to make plans with. Getting my American family together for holidays is really easy, because there's just four of us. With my Korean family, it's a little more complicated.

Because my grandfather is currently in Seoul at his second son's (third child's) house, the kids in the family that live in Seoul (or, in my case, Seoul-adjacent) were expected to trek over for the holiday. This uncle is my mother's younger brother and has four daughters, all younger than me. The cousins who live in Seoul are my mother's older brother's kids, two sons, one older and one younger than me. The three of us were to all meet at my uncle's house, but my older cousin said he would meet me at the subway station, since I don't know how to get to my uncle's house.

Convoluted and totally confusing, yes? Turns out, having lots of family means there is more chaos. And it also turns out that traveling via public transit during a national holiday is awful. It doesn't help that I may have taken the longest way possible to get to Seoul (thanks a lot, Jihachul app, thanks) and what should have taken less than an hour took almost two and a half hours.
The first transfer on the subway was pretty easy. The photo above was taken at 대곡 (Daegok) Station, where the app told me to transfer. So I did, because this app has guided me to and from Seoul for the past two months.
I waited at this particular station (in a very rural area) for probably about half an hour, because I didn't realize that my transfer was onto a county line. I mean, really, it's very hard to tell the difference.

So the app told me that I would just make the one transfer and proceed right along to Seoul Station, which is where I was to meet my cousin. Easy. Sure, I had to wait half an hour at Daegok, but if that's the only transfer I'm taking, I can deal. Yeah, not so much.
The train stopped at Digital Media City Station and then we all got kicked out. I looked around and noticed that transferring to the next platform would lead to Seoul Station. Seemed rather straightforward and normal, so I waited for the subway.
I waited ... and waited ... and took pictures ... and texted people ... and waited some more. I think three trains, honest-to-goodness passenger trains, not subway trains, whizzed past in the first twenty minutes. All I did was impatiently pace around that platform, carrying a purse and an awfully heavy camera, listening to Adele and cursing the subway system.
It wasn't until I'd been at the station for well over half an hour that the subway train finally showed up. I dashed in, took a seat, and began realizing that transportation on Chuseok is no joke- people weren't kidding when they said traveling during holidays in Korea is crappy at best.
I'll admit that I did like this station because I like trains, and regular underground stations aren't nearly as interesting to photograph as this type of outdoor station. Proof of Korea's industrialization in the background, with the new tall and shiny building on the left and the new building on the right, still being built.

Finally got to Seoul Station, where there were thousands of people milling around, making me feel suffocated as they crammed together and got all up in each other's personal space. Ugh. I didn't take any pictures at Seoul Station because my cousin and I were calling and texting each other, trying to figure out where the other was and not succeeding.

We finally found each other and walked to the bus stop, where we got on the bus and exited one stop late. Because we were so late and we're both impatient, we trekked to the previous stop, rather than waiting for the bus going in the opposite direction.
The photo above was taken at the first bus stop. The taller tower is Namsan Tower (남산 타워), which I had tons of photos of from last year (can't believe that I haven't posted those pictures yet). I do distinctly remember that Namsan (literally "South Mountain") is very close to my uncle's house, so I knew we were somewhere in the vicinity.

My cousin and I were in a neighborhood mart (a small little store in a small little street that's lined with stores selling different things- groceries, fruit, vegetables, fish, etc.) buying a box of giant Asian pears (a traditional gift during Chuseok) when we saw our aunt and uncle walk down the street. What amazing timing- and thank goodness we didn't have to hike up the rather steep hill and try to find their house without assistance.

My grandfather, aunt, uncle, their four daughters, my two cousins, two congregants of my uncle's church (he's a pastor), and I had Chuseok lunch (so much food), tons of fruit (peaches, apples, and pears), espresso, traditional Korean pastries, walnuts and pine nuts, and then a little more espresso. We all lolled about in a food-induced stupor for a couple hours afterward, talking about insignificant things, teasing each other, and acting very much like a family.
My uncle took a nap in the tent he has outside, which is his little outdoor retreat (he had a movie playing out there while he dozed). Our grandfather nagged his grandkids a little- mostly the two boys. The youngest, a sixth grader, skipped around the room while we watched her. It was so much like a normal family, like my family, but with different people.
That's the cousin that met me at Seoul Station. He worries about me, probably because he's the only cousin I have that's older than me, and because he's older, he feels a little responsible. He is probably the cousin that I am closest to, because I've seen him more than any other cousin. We're not that close, but we're not strangers- most of my cousins are strangers to me, even though we share DNA. Hopefully, being in Korea will help me to feel like my family is really my family. (And that's my uncle's tent in the back- he was in there when I took this picture.)
My grandfather with three of his grandchildren. The two girls are the youngest and second oldest of my uncle's daughters. The baby was probably bored all day because she's the youngest by almost ten years, so we're not very much fun for her to hang out with. The dude is my older cousin's little brother, he's the same age as my sister.

I didn't take the county line on my way home, so it only took about an hour to get back. Never taking that county line again. I shake my fist at you, Gyeongui Line (경의선)!

The transit hiccups had me all tired out before I even got to my uncle's house; it's only just past midnight now and I am wiped out. Tomorrow's technically part of the holiday, but I think I have to go into work for a couple hours and get some stuff done. Poop.

I'm hoping to find Jeongbal Mountain tomorrow, but I may settle for Lake Park, since it's close and easy. I may not have the energy for an uphill hike by the time I'm done with work.

Hooray for short work weeks, at least! And hooray for spending holidays with family!

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Sunday, September 04, 2011

Happy Birthday, 엄마!

This is the second year in a row that I will not be with my immediate family during their birthdays (all in the month of September). I am a little sad about this, as I love my family more than anything, but I do realize that this separation does not make me love them any less. If anything, I appreciate them more as I am away from them.

There are a lot of things that I like about home (I still consider California to be my home), but there are a lot of things that I like about Korea, too (which I definitely consider to be my motherland). I feel a little closer to my heritage here, and I like the fact that I am getting in touch with my nationality.

I know that my Korea is very different from my parents' Korea. Still, the fact that I am living and working while speaking in Korean makes me feel a little more Korean, and therefore a little closer to my parents.

More than anything, I have come to the understanding that I cannot control my life. I don't know what's coming next, and I'm okay with that. I know that worrying about it won't help, and though I can't control the slight trepidation that I feel, I am not overwhelmed with nervousness. I know that I'll be fine.

This peacefulness is a nice gift from my motherland, the land of my mother and father.

I do wish, though, that I could give my mommy a hug right now.

I got my love of coffee from my mother, and I was appropriately getting coffee today when I snapped a phone picture of the Nescafe interior. I love coffee shops here, they are so clean and comfortable (and when I say clean, I mean CLEAN) and full of simple syrup.

Whatever my mother is doing today, I do hope that she's having a wonderful birthday, with something that makes her smile.

엄마, 생일 축하해! 한국와서 맛있는 커피 마시자.

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Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Kkokkokkokkokko!

The Easter basket that I received from the family included lots of snacks from my sister (as well as one stingy tube of Korean pre-mixed instant coffee).

I had the Yan Yan yesterday, which is a delightful but achingly sweet snack of crisp cookie sticks and a flavored dip. The dip in my Yan Yan was strawberry.

I've had Yan Yan before, and I'm sure I'll have it again, but the thing about this particular package was that the cookie sticks had funny sayings on them, with cute little pictures of animals. According to Wikipedia, they say:

    * Balloon - Goes Pop
    * Bat - Only In The Night
    * Beetle - Lucky Colour: Brown
    * Cat - Say Meow
    * Chick - Lucky Color: Yellow
    * Chicken - Kokekokko
    * Chicken - Kokekokko
    * Cow - Muuuuu
    * Cow - Muuuuu
    * Duck - Go For A Swim
    * Elephant - Jumbo
    * Fox - Beware Of Lies
    * Frog - Amphibian
    * Giraffe - Tallest Mammal
    * Goat - You Are Lucky Today
    * Golden Egg
    * Golden Log
    * Horse - Gallop Away
    * Kettle - Goes Ssss
    * Mole - In A Hole
    * Mouse - Do Not Be Timid
    * Octopus - Lucky Number: 8
    * Owl - Active At Night
    * Panda - Go for More
    * Rabbit - Eat More Carrots
    * Rhinoceros - Think Big
    * Seal - Loves To Sun Tan
    * Sheep - Wool Sweaters
    * Snail - Snail Mail?
    * Squid - Black Ink
    * Squirrel - Your Best Friend
    * Stag Beetle - Love It
    * Starfish - Star+Fish
    * Tam Ho Yan - Baaaaaa
    * Whale - Biggesy [sic] Mammal
    * Zebra - Herbivore

You do not, of course, receive all of the messages. There aren't that many cookies in the package. I cracked up yesterday because of my favorite one:

Due to an inside joke with my sister, "kkokkokkokkokko" means any type of bird, squawking or calling. We're crazy, yes.

I'm going through some sort of weirdness right now, as is usual for me near the end of movies. I can't sleep, I have no motivation, and I want to leave Albuquerque.

I'm done with this city, and really am ready to move on with my life. I don't yet know what I'm going to be doing with said life, but I do know that my future is not in Albuquerque.

Time for something new. I wish I could discuss my various options here, but since I can't, I've been asking my family their opinions and going through a variety of scenarios in my head. I'm sure I will figure it out, and hopefully figure it out soon.

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Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Easter Basket

My sister and my mother sent me an Easter package (really, a FedEx box stuffed with goodies), including gim (nori for kimbap or sushi), shrimp chips, banana puffs, and a cute Easter basket full of candy and random goodness:

It's sitting on my desk at work, cheering me up every time I see it. Thanks, family!

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Friday, March 04, 2011

Care Package

My parents sent me a (giant) care package that I got today. A pleasant surprise at work!


I got lots of yummy things, including jujubes and a new tea (pictured). I love jujubes fresh and dried! I like the big ones, the little ones, the ones in between. Yum.

Lots of other things, too- all edible, of course. Koreans love feeding each other!

Thanks, parents!

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Monday, January 10, 2011

Chinese Mothers

My mother's not Chinese (in case you couldn't tell), but this article in the Wall Street Journal really made me think today about the differences between the Confucian east-Asian world and the liberal western world. The post is titled "Chinese Mothers" because that's what the article is about, not because I'm racist. Just in case the link doesn't work, the whole article here:


Why Chinese Mothers Are Superior
Can a regimen of no playdates, no TV, no computer games and hours of music practice create happy kids? And what happens when they fight back?

By AMY CHUA

A lot of people wonder how Chinese parents raise such stereotypically successful kids. They wonder what these parents do to produce so many math whizzes and music prodigies, what it's like inside the family, and whether they could do it too. Well, I can tell them, because I've done it. Here are some things my daughters, Sophia and Louisa, were never allowed to do:

• attend a sleepover

• have a playdate

• be in a school play

• complain about not being in a school play

• watch TV or play computer games

• choose their own extracurricular activities

• get any grade less than an A

• not be the No. 1 student in every subject except gym and drama

• play any instrument other than the piano or violin

• not play the piano or violin.

I'm using the term "Chinese mother" loosely. I know some Korean, Indian, Jamaican, Irish and Ghanaian parents who qualify too. Conversely, I know some mothers of Chinese heritage, almost always born in the West, who are not Chinese mothers, by choice or otherwise. I'm also using the term "Western parents" loosely. Western parents come in all varieties.

All the same, even when Western parents think they're being strict, they usually don't come close to being Chinese mothers. For example, my Western friends who consider themselves strict make their children practice their instruments 30 minutes every day. An hour at most. For a Chinese mother, the first hour is the easy part. It's hours two and three that get tough.

Despite our squeamishness about cultural stereotypes, there are tons of studies out there showing marked and quantifiable differences between Chinese and Westerners when it comes to parenting. In one study of 50 Western American mothers and 48 Chinese immigrant mothers, almost 70% of the Western mothers said either that "stressing academic success is not good for children" or that "parents need to foster the idea that learning is fun." By contrast, roughly 0% of the Chinese mothers felt the same way. Instead, the vast majority of the Chinese mothers said that they believe their children can be "the best" students, that "academic achievement reflects successful parenting," and that if children did not excel at school then there was "a problem" and parents "were not doing their job." Other studies indicate that compared to Western parents, Chinese parents spend approximately 10 times as long every day drilling academic activities with their children. By contrast, Western kids are more likely to participate in sports teams.

What Chinese parents understand is that nothing is fun until you're good at it. To get good at anything you have to work, and children on their own never want to work, which is why it is crucial to override their preferences. This often requires fortitude on the part of the parents because the child will resist; things are always hardest at the beginning, which is where Western parents tend to give up. But if done properly, the Chinese strategy produces a virtuous circle. Tenacious practice, practice, practice is crucial for excellence; rote repetition is underrated in America. Once a child starts to excel at something—whether it's math, piano, pitching or ballet—he or she gets praise, admiration and satisfaction. This builds confidence and makes the once not-fun activity fun. This in turn makes it easier for the parent to get the child to work even more.

Chinese parents can get away with things that Western parents can't. Once when I was young—maybe more than once—when I was extremely disrespectful to my mother, my father angrily called me "garbage" in our native Hokkien dialect. It worked really well. I felt terrible and deeply ashamed of what I had done. But it didn't damage my self-esteem or anything like that. I knew exactly how highly he thought of me. I didn't actually think I was worthless or feel like a piece of garbage.

As an adult, I once did the same thing to Sophia, calling her garbage in English when she acted extremely disrespectfully toward me. When I mentioned that I had done this at a dinner party, I was immediately ostracized. One guest named Marcy got so upset she broke down in tears and had to leave early. My friend Susan, the host, tried to rehabilitate me with the remaining guests.

The fact is that Chinese parents can do things that would seem unimaginable—even legally actionable—to Westerners. Chinese mothers can say to their daughters, "Hey fatty—lose some weight." By contrast, Western parents have to tiptoe around the issue, talking in terms of "health" and never ever mentioning the f-word, and their kids still end up in therapy for eating disorders and negative self-image. (I also once heard a Western father toast his adult daughter by calling her "beautiful and incredibly competent." She later told me that made her feel like garbage.)

Chinese parents can order their kids to get straight As. Western parents can only ask their kids to try their best. Chinese parents can say, "You're lazy. All your classmates are getting ahead of you." By contrast, Western parents have to struggle with their own conflicted feelings about achievement, and try to persuade themselves that they're not disappointed about how their kids turned out.

I've thought long and hard about how Chinese parents can get away with what they do. I think there are three big differences between the Chinese and Western parental mind-sets.

First, I've noticed that Western parents are extremely anxious about their children's self-esteem. They worry about how their children will feel if they fail at something, and they constantly try to reassure their children about how good they are notwithstanding a mediocre performance on a test or at a recital. In other words, Western parents are concerned about their children's psyches. Chinese parents aren't. They assume strength, not fragility, and as a result they behave very differently.

For example, if a child comes home with an A-minus on a test, a Western parent will most likely praise the child. The Chinese mother will gasp in horror and ask what went wrong. If the child comes home with a B on the test, some Western parents will still praise the child. Other Western parents will sit their child down and express disapproval, but they will be careful not to make their child feel inadequate or insecure, and they will not call their child "stupid," "worthless" or "a disgrace." Privately, the Western parents may worry that their child does not test well or have aptitude in the subject or that there is something wrong with the curriculum and possibly the whole school. If the child's grades do not improve, they may eventually schedule a meeting with the school principal to challenge the way the subject is being taught or to call into question the teacher's credentials.

If a Chinese child gets a B—which would never happen—there would first be a screaming, hair-tearing explosion. The devastated Chinese mother would then get dozens, maybe hundreds of practice tests and work through them with her child for as long as it takes to get the grade up to an A.

Chinese parents demand perfect grades because they believe that their child can get them. If their child doesn't get them, the Chinese parent assumes it's because the child didn't work hard enough. That's why the solution to substandard performance is always to excoriate, punish and shame the child. The Chinese parent believes that their child will be strong enough to take the shaming and to improve from it. (And when Chinese kids do excel, there is plenty of ego-inflating parental praise lavished in the privacy of the home.)

Second, Chinese parents believe that their kids owe them everything. The reason for this is a little unclear, but it's probably a combination of Confucian filial piety and the fact that the parents have sacrificed and done so much for their children. (And it's true that Chinese mothers get in the trenches, putting in long grueling hours personally tutoring, training, interrogating and spying on their kids.) Anyway, the understanding is that Chinese children must spend their lives repaying their parents by obeying them and making them proud.

By contrast, I don't think most Westerners have the same view of children being permanently indebted to their parents. My husband, Jed, actually has the opposite view. "Children don't choose their parents," he once said to me. "They don't even choose to be born. It's parents who foist life on their kids, so it's the parents' responsibility to provide for them. Kids don't owe their parents anything. Their duty will be to their own kids." This strikes me as a terrible deal for the Western parent.

Third, Chinese parents believe that they know what is best for their children and therefore override all of their children's own desires and preferences. That's why Chinese daughters can't have boyfriends in high school and why Chinese kids can't go to sleepaway camp. It's also why no Chinese kid would ever dare say to their mother, "I got a part in the school play! I'm Villager Number Six. I'll have to stay after school for rehearsal every day from 3:00 to 7:00, and I'll also need a ride on weekends." God help any Chinese kid who tried that one.

Don't get me wrong: It's not that Chinese parents don't care about their children. Just the opposite. They would give up anything for their children. It's just an entirely different parenting model.

Here's a story in favor of coercion, Chinese-style. Lulu was about 7, still playing two instruments, and working on a piano piece called "The Little White Donkey" by the French composer Jacques Ibert. The piece is really cute—you can just imagine a little donkey ambling along a country road with its master—but it's also incredibly difficult for young players because the two hands have to keep schizophrenically different rhythms.

Lulu couldn't do it. We worked on it nonstop for a week, drilling each of her hands separately, over and over. But whenever we tried putting the hands together, one always morphed into the other, and everything fell apart. Finally, the day before her lesson, Lulu announced in exasperation that she was giving up and stomped off.

"Get back to the piano now," I ordered.

"You can't make me."

"Oh yes, I can."

Back at the piano, Lulu made me pay. She punched, thrashed and kicked. She grabbed the music score and tore it to shreds. I taped the score back together and encased it in a plastic shield so that it could never be destroyed again. Then I hauled Lulu's dollhouse to the car and told her I'd donate it to the Salvation Army piece by piece if she didn't have "The Little White Donkey" perfect by the next day. When Lulu said, "I thought you were going to the Salvation Army, why are you still here?" I threatened her with no lunch, no dinner, no Christmas or Hanukkah presents, no birthday parties for two, three, four years. When she still kept playing it wrong, I told her she was purposely working herself into a frenzy because she was secretly afraid she couldn't do it. I told her to stop being lazy, cowardly, self-indulgent and pathetic.

Jed took me aside. He told me to stop insulting Lulu—which I wasn't even doing, I was just motivating her—and that he didn't think threatening Lulu was helpful. Also, he said, maybe Lulu really just couldn't do the technique—perhaps she didn't have the coordination yet—had I considered that possibility?

"You just don't believe in her," I accused.

"That's ridiculous," Jed said scornfully. "Of course I do."

"Sophia could play the piece when she was this age."

"But Lulu and Sophia are different people," Jed pointed out.

"Oh no, not this," I said, rolling my eyes. "Everyone is special in their special own way," I mimicked sarcastically. "Even losers are special in their own special way. Well don't worry, you don't have to lift a finger. I'm willing to put in as long as it takes, and I'm happy to be the one hated. And you can be the one they adore because you make them pancakes and take them to Yankees games."

I rolled up my sleeves and went back to Lulu. I used every weapon and tactic I could think of. We worked right through dinner into the night, and I wouldn't let Lulu get up, not for water, not even to go to the bathroom. The house became a war zone, and I lost my voice yelling, but still there seemed to be only negative progress, and even I began to have doubts.

Then, out of the blue, Lulu did it. Her hands suddenly came together—her right and left hands each doing their own imperturbable thing—just like that.

Lulu realized it the same time I did. I held my breath. She tried it tentatively again. Then she played it more confidently and faster, and still the rhythm held. A moment later, she was beaming.

"Mommy, look—it's easy!" After that, she wanted to play the piece over and over and wouldn't leave the piano. That night, she came to sleep in my bed, and we snuggled and hugged, cracking each other up. When she performed "The Little White Donkey" at a recital a few weeks later, parents came up to me and said, "What a perfect piece for Lulu—it's so spunky and so her."

Even Jed gave me credit for that one. Western parents worry a lot about their children's self-esteem. But as a parent, one of the worst things you can do for your child's self-esteem is to let them give up. On the flip side, there's nothing better for building confidence than learning you can do something you thought you couldn't.

There are all these new books out there portraying Asian mothers as scheming, callous, overdriven people indifferent to their kids' true interests. For their part, many Chinese secretly believe that they care more about their children and are willing to sacrifice much more for them than Westerners, who seem perfectly content to let their children turn out badly. I think it's a misunderstanding on both sides. All decent parents want to do what's best for their children. The Chinese just have a totally different idea of how to do that.

Western parents try to respect their children's individuality, encouraging them to pursue their true passions, supporting their choices, and providing positive reinforcement and a nurturing environment. By contrast, the Chinese believe that the best way to protect their children is by preparing them for the future, letting them see what they're capable of, and arming them with skills, work habits and inner confidence that no one can ever take away.

—Amy Chua is a professor at Yale Law School and author of "Day of Empire" and "World on Fire: How Exporting Free Market Democracy Breeds Ethnic Hatred and Global Instability." This essay is excerpted from "Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother" by Amy Chua, to be published Tuesday by the Penguin Press, a member of Penguin Group (USA) Inc. Copyright © 2011 by Amy Chua.


Very thought-provoking. I'm still turning it over in my mind, and I am, more than anything else, marveling at the bravery of Amy Chua to write this essay. That's very brave of her, knowing that her audience is mostly American and mostly not going to perceive or even attempt to understand her point of view.

My parents were a mix of both "Chinese" and "Western." I like to believe that they were a combination of the best traits of each side. I grew up in a childhood that I consider to be shockingly well balanced, considering how different my two cultures are. Yes, there were things that I felt I "missed out" on in my adolescent years. Looking back, I don't regret any of the things that I thought I missed.

My poor mother will tell you if asked that I chastise her about not pushing me. I wish she had pushed me more. I played the piano, but wasn't really made to practice, because I also played the clarinet, then the oboe, the bassoon, the French horn, and then circled back to the clarinet and oboe. I had so many interests and no one made me focus them. My mother, in sharp contrast, is the oldest daughter in her family. She was forced to play the piano starting from a very young age (four? five?) and was told firmly to practice for hours a day. She did, and she still plays the piano to this day.

In one way, I could see how my mother's childhood informed her decision to give her children choices. Every choice we could ever want. She made us practice all the instruments we every picked up. We learned to read before we went to school. When I couldn't figure out math, I sat there and wrote out multiplication tables, smudgy pencil on yellow legal pads, until I dreamed of numbers. I was a lemming of a child. When pushed in one direction, I willingly went. I sat for hours, filling out workbooks, learning how to draw quarters notes and eighth notes, learning to write perfectly formed letters. I think I was the kind of kid that wouldn't have minded having a set path to follow. (My sister, on the other hand, was always meant to forge her own road. And she has, no matter what has cropped up.)

It fascinates me to think about what my life might have been like if my parents hadn't allowed me the freedom to explore my options. What if I had never picked up art? What if my mother had not lined the room that my sister and I shared with butcher paper, so we could draw to in sprawling, huge compositions that were literally larger than us? Would I be happy, should I have been told to play the piano? Would I have regrets?

I can't answer any of those questions, of course. I've lived the life that I've lived and I can only make the choices that come up in front of me now. All I know is that I don't have any regrets, so far, and I attribute much of that to my parents.

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Monday, November 22, 2010

What I Love, #6

I love Ivory soap.

I don't particularly think it's the best soap- it doesn't create many suds, it doesn't get rid of anything oil-based, and it's very mild. It has a pleasant scent, I suppose, but as a soap, it doesn't have the qualities that I really appreciate (chemicals that will scour everything off of me).

However, I will always love Ivory soap because it reminds me of my maternal grandmother, who passed away rather unexpectedly a few years ago. She was the perfect epitome of a grandmother- jolly, always had candy, made copious amounts of food, and had a laugh that could carry for what seemed like miles.

Being Asian, my grandmother was very wrinkle-free, save for her laugh lines that creased around her eyes. She had smooth, chubby cheeks that bounced when she chortled, eyes that became half-moons when she smiled.

Grams (what my sister and I call her when we speak about her in English) looked like a cartoon character- she had a roly-poly middle that tapered into fragile wrists and ankles. She had the smallest little feet, and always picked her way delicately across rooms. She always had a distinct smell, as everybody does, but when I suddenly catch a whiff of something that reminds me of her, I am always instantly brought to tears.

I miss my grandmother terribly- though she and my mother were really nothing alike (my mother looks like a female clone of her father, and they have the same personality, to boot), she raised my mommy. There is something to that link. I think in the love, stress, pressure, protectiveness, and nurturing that she delivered to my mother, she also delivered to me, but without the stress or pressure. That's what grandparents are, to me- unconditional love, as from a parent to a child, but without the worries and the scolding.

I needed to buy soap (I need bar soap in my house at all times, as well as body wash) and while I was wandering around Target, I came across Ivory soap. The little cakes are not what I remember- they used to be smoother, didn't they? with nicely beveled edges?- but the smell is the same. I will forever remember my grandmother telling my mother (nagging, really) that we, her granddaughters, should use Ivory soap to wash our faces. This was when we were in Korea, the year between my fifth and sixth grades. I won't ever forget using Ivory soap in her house, in that strange bathroom (I wasn't used to Korean bathrooms at the time).

Though I didn't live in the same country as her and I only saw her infrequently, at best, I am so glad that even something as mundane as soap can instantly remind me of my grandmother.

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Thursday, September 23, 2010

Happy Birthday, Little Sister!

Today is my little sister's birthday! Happy birthday, little nutbrown!!

She is just over a year younger than me. At times, that difference feels like a decade. At other times, that difference feels like three minutes, like we are twins.

These are her adorable bunnies, of course. Her babies that she spoils to death. Gouda, the boy, is the brown and white one. Brie, the girl, is a wee little thing. I have not met her yet. (They're fighting over a popsicle stick in the photo above, sent to me by my sister). Gouda was a tiny little cuddle when last I held him, so I imagine that Brie is just a wisp of a thing, the size of a cotton ball.

I am often reminded of my sister, usually for completely inane things:
LypSyl, our favorite lip balm. (I love this stuff. LOVE.) We both have rather biggish lips in relation to the sizes of our mouths, with thin skin, so we chap quite easily. It's been a life-long struggle to find a lip balm that we genuinely love, and I think this is it. Such a silly thing, and one that can only be shared with someone that knows me better than anyone else.
Shiseido Hydro-Liquid Foundation compact. I left mine with her, because it worked much better for her than for me. Every time I see a refill being sold or one of those compacts, I think of her.
Swedish Fish! We both really only like the red ones- one of the few things we agree on, flavor-wise. We're great in restaurants together because we like the opposite foods. I hate mushrooms, she loves them. She doesn't really eat red meat, I'm a total carnivore. I don't eat olives, she can eat a ton of them. She doesn't like cooked carrots, I don't mind them. Swedish Fish, we definitely agree on. Thanks goodness they sell boxes of red-only Swedish fish!

My family's birthdays are over, for this year. Shopping online for them, thinking about them, it has just kept making me miss them. I have so many long workdays ahead of me, without even the benefit of seeing my family every weekend. It's a discouraging thought.

Anyway! Despite the fact that I have not seen my family for a long time, I know that they had great birthdays. That's what family does- support each other and make sure each has a wonderful birthday, no matter how far away they might be.

I told everyone at work it was your birthday, leetle spreeg, and they all wish you a happy one. Especially Paul McCartney!

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Monday, September 20, 2010

Happy Birthday, 아빠!

Saturday was my dad's birthday.

Happy birthday, 아빠!

Like all men in South Korea, my dad had to go to the army for two years. This is him, obviously ignoring the rules (as usual). He still looks almost exactly like this, albeit with a few extra pounds and a couple more gray hairs.

I really miss my family. What with my mother's birthday a couple weeks ago, my father's birthday this past weekend, and my sister's birthday this week, I'm really feeling every single one of the 850 miles separating us.

I am crossing my fingers that I will be able to go back home sometime soon (perhaps near Thanksgiving) so I can cuddle with the brainless cat, feed the greedy Gouda some cilantro, and finally meet wee Brie.

I can't wait.

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Tuesday, September 07, 2010

Happy Birthday, 엄마!

Happy birthday, 엄마!

My mother's birthday was this past Sunday. (I would have posted sooner about it, but something about my computer at home is broken.)

This is the first time I have not seen her for her birthday, and I felt a little lost and sad on Sunday. I have never missed my family more than I did this past weekend.

I know that, eventually, I will go on to have my own family, away from my nuclear family. I don't have my own family yet, but I feel like I am losing my nuclear family- I moved far away, I don't see them regularly, as I used to, and I just miss them.

Having friends is all well and fine, but there's nothing like family.

Happy belated birthday, Momma, I hope you weren't too sad without me!

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