Self-Manicure (셀프 매니큐어)

Ah, Korea. Always so fun with the Konglish. Like "self-manicure," for instance.

"Self" in Korea means self-service. If there's a sign in a restaurant that "water is self," it means that you need to go get your water yourself- serve yourself.

"Self-manicure," of course, means a manicure that you've given yourself. "Self-manicure" just sounds fancier, like an actual thing, though of course it's not. Here's my self-manicure, at any rate:

Yes, my nails are terribly long. I'm not good at shaping my own nails, so I always relied on my semi-regular manicures when I lived in Ilsan. I haven't found a nail salon in Seoul (frankly, I haven't looked), so my nails are their natural shape, rather than the rounded square shape that I prefer (the squoval!).

Supplies used:

Butter London Nail Foundation Flawless Base Coat
Olive Young nail polish
Etude House lace nail stickers (sorry, I couldn't find a link on the American Etude House site)
Butter London Hardwear P.D. Quick Top Coat

I like the black lace stickers (click on the link above), but they were out when I bought these. I'll have to go back and see if the black ones are available sometime.

I don't like Etude House's cosmetics all that much, but these nail stickers are pretty awesome. I applied two coats of base (I love how silky and semi-matte Butter London's basecoat looks!), dried them completely, applied two thin layers of the Olive Young polish, waited until my nails were mostly dried but not cured, then stuck the lace stickers on.

The stickers are super sticky, so be careful if you use them! Especially if your nails aren't completely dried, in which case, you won't be able to reposition the stickers without wrecking your manicure. I used tweezers to get the stickers unstuck and position them over my nails.

I've seen that most people cut the stickers before trying to put them on their nails, but that makes for a lot of sticker that you'll have to throw away once you trim the excess, so I didn't cut the stickers down to size first. I just peeled them about halfway off the backing, lined up the end, stuck the sticker on, and then trimmed to fit my nail. It worked out pretty well and I didn't end up throwing away any excess, so I'm counting that as a win.

Because I've heard that these stickers tend to peel off if a top coat isn't applied, I slapped on my Butter London topcoat. I've had some issues with this topcoat- it dries quickly, which is great, and seems to set well and set hard, which I like, but it tends to leave the tips of nails with weird matte splotches. I have no idea why, but I'm assuming it's because my nails are super dry or the topcoat is really drying. After the topcoat's dried a bit-- not cured, but not tacky-- I put on cuticle oil all over my cuticles AND nails. That solves the matte spots on my nails and hydrates my cuticles.

So there's my self-manicure! I find that I tend toward neutral colors when my nails are this long (excessively long) because anything bright, dark, or too flashy makes my nails look huge.

Who knows, since I'm too lazy to find a nail salon in Seoul, maybe I'll keep giving myself self-manicures. Though I only have a few bottles of nail polish, so it'll be the same colors over and over again with different stickers!

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Girly Korean Nails

I've mentioned this before, but it bears repeating- living in Korea has made me much more girly than I ever was in the U.S. It really does alarm me a little when I think about how much more I maintain myself than I used to. Not that it's bad, really-- taking care of myself is a good thing, after all-- I just wish that I didn't love random things. One of those random things, which I actually loved even in the U.S., is getting my nails done.

One of the girls at work is very high-maintenance. Not high-maintenance in that way that men hate, where girls require a regular flow of presents, compliments, and whining, but high-maintenace in that she really takes care of herself. She gets massages, facials, eyelash extensions, manicures, laser treatments, all kinds of things. Some Korean women really go all-out, and she's one of them.

Thanks to her, three of us went out and got manicures at lunch today:

Crazy girly, right? And much more elaborate than most manicures back in the U.S., what with patterns and stripes and glitter and sparkles all over the place.

We were in a coffee shop, waiting for our coffees and admiring our nails when the girls snapped the photos above on their phones (hence the crap quality). It's fun going to a salon with girls, chatting and being way too shrill. Being a girl and having good girlfriends is great.

My manicure. I'm attracted to sparkles, like a magpie. Each of those teeny little sparkles were added one at a time. Painstaking, much like getting eyelash extensions. No matter what color our nails are, the boys at work always make some sort of comment about it. Korean guys are much more observant than their American counterparts, and can tell immediately when a girl got her hair trimmed or changed her make-up. It's a little unnerving, but I've gotten used to it.

So tired today. I need some coffee and some Red Bull (thank goodness Korea has Red Bull now), and I'll probably survive the rest of the day...

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Korean Vanity

Or, the post wherein I outline how much time I waste for vanity's sake.

Koreans are, generally, very concerned with appearance, especially the ladies. Most women that I see have on make-up, have styled their hair, and are wearing outfits, rather than just clothes.

I am probably one of the least put-together women in my office, as I don't wear much jewelry (I really only wear earrings, and only when I remember to put them on), I don't switch out my purse very frequently (there's a girl in my office that has a different purse every single day, depending on what her outfit is), I don't blow out my hair, and I don't wear colored makeup. By "colored makeup," I mean eyeshadow or lipstick. On a daily basis, I have on base makeup (so my skin looks nice), eyeliner, and eyebrow pencil. I sometimes remember to put on blusher. I never wear lipstick, and I only put on eyeshadow twice or three times a year (you know, for all those times I go clubbing).

In LA, I was considered rather preppy and conservative, as far as my appearance goes. I wear heels and sandals, and my outfits are general some sort of sweater and either jeans or trousers. I don't wear t-shirts to work. I sometimes wear blouses, and every once in a blue moon, I'll wear sweats (yoga pants) with a hoodie (generally if I have to work on weekends). While my daily wardrobe was a little formal for the LA workplace, it's pretty much casual here in the Korean workplace.

There are women in my office that wear prom dresses to work. One girl had on a bridesmaid's dress one day, I swear. It was peach organza with fluffy sleeves and a full cocktail-length skirt. Who looks at that kind of dress in a store and thinks that she'll wear it to work?? Not me, that's for sure.

Most of the women at work wear makeup, have their nails done, and have some sort of processed hair (perms and dyes). They wear jewelry, carry girly bags, and will sacrifice comfort in order to wear tottering heels. Most women also have great skin, something I envy.

As I've watched TV, talked to co-workers, and just soaked in the vibe here, I've realized that good skin is earned. I always thought it was genetics, and while my mother has nice skin, I just figured that I was never going to have clear, even skin. I have sensitive combination skin, which is annoying to deal with, and I get a blemish here and there every couple weeks. Not only do I get those blemishes, but I have rather long-lasting scars, even when I don't pick at my spots. I always just resigned myself to cleansing very thoroughly, exfoliating every few days, and applying concealer when necessary. What else can one do, when one is fast approaching 30 with no sign of improvement in one's skin?

Turns out, one spends money. Korean women use time and money to get their skin to be better than it really is, and I was rather taken aback by the sheer amount of products and propaganda that bombards me from all angles.

Advertising is pervasive, especially in such a wired country, to the point that I have a hard time remembering that when I was back home, I wasn't too perturbed about my skin's condition. Here in Korea, there are commercials, billboards, and constant reminders that YOUR SKIN IS NOT GOOD ENOUGH. A couple examples:

Lim Su-Jeong (임수정), an actress and spokeswoman for SK-II (that's SK2 with Roman numerals), one of the pricier skincare lines. It's made in Japan, and Cate Blanchett is the international spokeswoman. (Cate Blanchett has ridiculously beautiful skin.) It's available for purchase in the U.S. at Bloomingdale's, here.

Song Hye-Gyo (송혜교) is also an actress and the spokeswoman for Laneige, a Korean skincare brand (under the Amore-Pacific umbrella, which contains a ton of cosmetic brands).

Korean ads focus on pale, luminous skin, and try to make it appear that their spokespeople aren't wearing any make-up at all. This somehow really gets to me (I must be part of the target audience) and makes me crave that kind of clear, glowing complexion.

I don't know if it's subliminal or just really clever marketing, but I've been all about skincare lately. I started off quite well, with good (cheap) intentions, at road shops (lower end cosmetic brands that have stand-alone shops all over the place) like the Face Shop, Skinfood, Innisfree, Missha, and TonyMoly. I still go to road shops to stock up on face masks and foam cleansers, and one of Innisfree's scrubs has completely won me over (the Jeju Volcanic Pore Scrub Foam, which is awesome and has replaced my St. Ives Apricot Scrub, which has been my exfoliating scrub for years and years).

However, I realized that I needed a new moisturizer, because my Shiseido Brightening Moisturizing Gel was almost out. Besides which, my sensitive skin forces me to switch moisturizers when the weather changes- the gel works really well in the summer, but isn't moisturizing enough when it gets cooler. So I moseyed over to Lotte Department Store, intending to buy the Protective Cream, which is part of the same line as the Moisturizing Gel ... and I got sucked into the wonder of cosmetic counters in Korea.

There are a LOT of brands. They promise to do a lot of things. I browsed, I wandered, I tried different things (the backs of my hands have never been so moisturized before) and then I fell into the steep trap of SK-II.

I've seen commercials and advertisements for this brand, which I had heard about years ago. It was always way, way too expensive for me to even consider purchasing, but my newfound obsession with skincare and a little bit more disposable income meant that I was shelling out quite a lot of money for some moisturizer. (Don't ask how much, I still treat the thing like it's made of pure gold.)

Since I still had toner (also called "skin" in Korea), I just bought the moisturizer and fled before I could spend any more money. Before I ran off, though, the salesgirl gave me samples of SK-II's toner and essence. The essence is quite famous, reputed to be "miracle water," with something called pitera, which apparently decreases wrinkles and increases elasticity.

The essence, while famous, smells odd. Not really bad, but it's weird. The toner's fine, whatever- it's a little more moisturizing than other toners, but it doesn't seem to be anything spectacular. The essence, though, while it might smell weird, really does seem to have an effect. It's runny, just a little bit more viscous than water, and then feels sort of sticky in a couple seconds, once it's on the skin. It absorbs really well and then helps with the moisturizer, which seems to kind of bind to the essence.

I've been using the samples of the toner, essence, and moisturizer (the girl gave me two samples of the same moisturizer that I bought, telling me to use the samples to test the product) for about a week, and my skin is much happier. The samples I got are larger than most samples, they're really more like travel-sized bottles, rather than those tiny sample bottles that are normally distributed. I'll probably be able to use the samples for at least another two weeks, if not longer.

Back in the States, I used to use Qiora (a sister brand to Shiseido) off-and-on, mostly because I saw a difference in my skin, but it wasn't radical enough for me to justify the price on a regular basis. So I would buy the stuff when my skin got out of control (dry and flaking on my cheeks, oily and angry in my T-zone), use it until I ran out, and then let my skin go off on its own. I would use Qiora, Clinique, Elizabeth Arden (which always made me feel like an old lady), Lancome (eye cream), Shiseido, Clean & Clear (I don't discriminate by price), and all kinds of other brands, swapping out products dependent on my mood and my skin's condition.

For the past month, I've been using masks quite regularly and cleansing my face as thoroughly as possible. Adding SK-II to the mix seems to have really made my skin relax and brighten up.

I don't have perfect skin, not at all, but I'm hoping that it continues to get better. I'm also questioning why I care so much (curses to your emphasis on complexion, Korea!); when in Rome....

My new favorite mask, which I just discovered yesterday, is from Innisfree. (I think it's my favorite road shop, their products seem to be the nicest.) It's some sort of brightening wrinkle-reducing formula, but the awesome thing is that the mask covers the entire face and wraps around the neck! It feels a little suffocating at first, and it's rather annoying to unfold and apply, but it's fine once it's on and I like that it includes the neck. It also fit really well- I don't like those masks with really small eye-holes or really big mouth-holes, because I'm picky that way. If I'm going to put on a mask for 15 - 20 minutes, it better cover all the skin on my face.

It's already Thursday, and thank goodness. I'm ready for my weekend escape to Daegu, where I will wreak havoc on my skin by eating unhealthy food and probably drinking. I doubt that I'll be leaving work anytime soon (it's just past 9:00 now), but I'm definitely leaving on time tomorrow, so I can catch my train.

Hooray for short weeks (even if they have long days)!

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WellBeing

There are a lot of strange Korean colloquialisms, particularly the adoption of English (or other language) words or phrases and twisting them just slightly.

Some of my favorites are: "handphone" for cell phone, "skinship" for touchy-feely-ness (skin + kinship = touching), and "arbeit" from the German for 'work,' which means part-time job or after-school job in Korean (it's really pronounced "aurobeit" or "au-lo-bye-eet-uh" in Korean). There are a plethora of others, since Koreans are constantly studying English and incorporating English into their vocabulary (not always correctly, but still- it's an effort).

Another Korean slang term is "wellbeing," one word, pronounced "well-bing" (yes, two syllables, not three), which encompasses anything healthy. "This organic green tea is wellbeing!"

I decided to wellbeing my life a little while ago, after my nosebleeds. I'd never been in the emergency room before; I'd never felt quite so helpless before. Thanks to the nosebleeds, I was forced to deal with something that I knew was a problem- high blood pressure (hypertension).

I've always had high blood pressure, but I ignored it. I don't like doctors or hospitals, and I didn't want to be told what was wrong with me. When I had my nose stuffed and packed, my blood pressure rocketed to insane levels. I was told that the constant pain and stress my body was under would continue to raise my blood pressure, but my pressure got so high that at least one doctor mentioned the word "stroke," which frightened me.

So I started doing my research. What causes high blood pressure? How can I control it? What changes do I need to make?

Turns out, it's not difficult. I cut out red meat, added brown rice and oatmeal to my diet, started eating breakfast, stopped eating past 7:00, consciously started drinking more water, and forced myself to go to bed earlier, so I would get at least seven hours of sleep. It sounds like a lot of drastic changes, but since I started after my nosebleeds, and I had stopped eating altogether when I had my nose packed, it wasn't difficult.

It upsets me that I needed such a big reality check to become concerned about my health, but I'm very good at denial. I think a lot of people are, especially when they know that something is wrong and they don't want to face it.

It's been over a month, and I am much better. I think the water and sleep have made a huge difference in my energy and my skin. I was never a good sleeper (I had relied on melatonin for a couple years when I was sleeping really, really irregularly) because I'm a complete night owl. I love nighttime. I love not being in the sun. I love the lights, the mood, the way things look. I hate mornings.

It took a few weeks, but I'm now on a more regular sleeping schedule, and try to be in bed before midnight. I find that actually sleeping has helped my stress levels and made it much, much easier to actually get out of bed in the mornings without wanting to punch puppies.

I also started taking vitamin B complex (it includes all eight of the vitamin B types), which seems to help me fall asleep and sleep well. I was never a vitamin taker, other than vitamin D while I was taking melatonin, but I'm sticking with the vitamin B complex for now, as it does seem to be making a difference.

I'm turning 29 this year, which is not a good number. I want to be healthy (or healthier, at least) and not plagued with sleeping problems and stress-related issues by the time I turn 29 and officially enter the last year of my twenties, after which I will have to deal with turning 30 (shudder).

At least if I blog about it, it will hold me (somewhat) accountable for what I do. I hope it will, anyway. It's been a struggle for the past six weeks, but it's gotten a bit easier now, so maybe I'm over that initial hump. Just wait until I plateau....

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Tim Burton is My Hero

MoMA is putting on a retrospective for Tim Burton (previous link is for the gallery exhibition, this one is for the film exhibition) from November 22, 2009 through April 26, 2010. I really, really, REALLY want to go! This show will be over by then, I have friends in New York ... I'm crossing my fingers and hoping the stars align to make it happen.

So Mr. Burton art directed a photoshoot for Harper's Bazaar (photos below). Whether it was for publicity ("Alice in Wonderland" comes out on March 5!) or ego-stroking, the results are fabulous. I think Hayao Miyazaki is completely in touch with the child's dream-state that we all have, while Tim Burton is in tune with the child's creepy-crawly nightmare-state that we all have. I love them both for it.
























Left: Louis Vuitton (dress, hairpin, and necklace), Gucci (belt and booties).
Right: Jean Paul Gaultier Atelier (gown, by special order), CC Skye (cuffs), Yves Saint Laurent (pumps).

I think it's a play on "Alice in Wonderland," perhaps the Mad Hatter, who has orange hair in Tim Burton's version. I love the giant bones. I love the moody sky with the bright flowers.
























Atelier Versace (dress), Alexis Bittar (necklace), Giorgio Armani (gloves), Louis Vuitton (boots).

Don't the props look like imaginings from "The Nightmare Before Christmas"? While I love the photos, I don't like the flat lighting, I feel like it should be moodier. And the clothes work, but are not ever, EVER pieces that I would want to own. Or even try on.
























Left: Salvatore Ferragamo (coat), Tao Comme des Garcons (dress and shoes).
Right: Rodarte (jacket and gloves), Phi (pants), Nicholas Kirkwood for Rodarte (boots).

Probably my favorite photo. I think that Edward Scissorhands looks fantastic, broken, frail, all the things that made the character so weird and lovable and repulsive. Moody sky and red, red flowers really help this one, though again, I'm not a fan of the flat lighting.
























Left: Yohji Yamamoto (pajamas and slippers).
Right: Oscar de la Renta (gown), Calvin Klein (bra).

A lovely cross between "The Nightmare Before Christmas" and "Alice in Wonderland," with Tim Burton as Jack Skellington as Santa Claus and a woman in the role of the Knave of Hearts. Aesthetically, this looks like it could be in "Alice in Wonderland."
























Nina Ricci (gown with jacket and boots), Carolina Amato (gloves).

Perhaps this one is the Queen of Hearts? With a little "Corpse Bride" thrown in? I love the orderly rows of flowers and the incongruously giant skeleton. No garden is complete without an enormous skeleton dangling over the roses!

As far as clothes go, I love the gown. It's definitely a gown and not a dress, and while ruffly, not reminiscent of flamenco. I like gowns with jackets when done right, it's a nice contrast.
























Giorgio Armani (sequined top and gloves), Emilio Cavallini (lace bodysuit), Rigby & Peller (briefs), Yves Saint Laurent (shoes).

Nothing to say. I don't like the clothes or the backdrop. I do like the ribcage, but that's not enough to save this one for me. The fact that someone actually made a lace bodysuit makes me sad. Please, please, can we leave the 80's where they belong? In the past?
























Jean Paul Gaultier (jacket, top), Balmain (jacket (bottom) and skirt), Shona Heath (headpiece), Wolford (fishnets), Nina Ricci (boots).

I know people don't agree, but I love these shoes. Well, the idea of these shoes- I like that they have no heel, for some reason. Fashion is magic!

I even love the ratty bunny ears, with the orange hair poking out.

What I do not love is the model's left hand. It looks like something is protruding out of her middle, alien-esque and supremely unattractive.
























Tim Burton, able to make fun of himself. I like the clown costume, it looks like a toy from "The Nightmare Before Christmas." I love that movie.

I also like how it looks as if Tim Burton's just slain the skeleton he's standing above.

The backdrop was ugly in the previous lace bodysuit picture, and it's still ugly now. What is the point of that thing?
























Chanel (dress and hat), Atsuko Kudo (latex stockings).

I don't like this one. All the beiges and yellows clashing with the orange hair ... and washing the whole photo out. Ugly. There's a haute way to work with twigs and weeds, but this ain't it.

I kind of want some latex stockings, though. How they would be taken off, I have no bloody blue.
























Givenchy by Riccardo Tisci (dress and sandals), Philip Treacy for Alexander McQueen (headpiece), Gerbe (tights).

I love the mummy but not the ... emu person thing. I love the peachy-pink roses, the skeleton-as-purse, and the fact that even mummies can accessorize.
























Alexander McQueen (dress, hat, boots), Giorgio Armani (gloves).

This one is so outlandish that I love it. I think she's the Queen of Hearts? Perhaps in mourning, after she chops off her husband's head?
























Dolce & Gabbana (dress, bra, briefs), Cornelia James (gloves), Wolford (tights), Yves Saint Laurent (shoes).

This has a lovely, almost sephia look to it. The blacks are dusty, the roses are peach rather than red. Even the hair is less violently orange. It's a Tim Burton version of a vintage portrait, I think.
























Ralph Lauren Collection (cape and gown).

"Corpse Bride" and her skeletal husband. Beautiful.

Plus, she has a CAPE. Is there anything better than a CAPE?? (Unless you're a superhero, of course- Edna Mode would not approve!)


I like to be inspired, and while words are always good (I read a lot for this express purpose), there's something about photos that serves a completely different part of the brain.

I love that I am working on Tim Burton's movie right now. Hopefully I remember this a few months from now when I'm at work around the clock!

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Lovely

I generally see engagement/wedding photos for Korean celebrities and yawn. Nothing spectacular is ever done- the usual white dress and tuxedo in the usual settings, like a park or a posh penthouse or a bridge (we love bridges).

Boring.

Jung Tae-Woo (정태우), bless his heart, is an actor marrying a non-celebrity named Jang In-Hee (장인희). I'm assuming Miss Jang is interested in fashion or photography, because their engagement/wedding pictures? Gorgeous.

Standard white dress and tuxedo in a completely unexpected environment. It's clean, pretty, and not overly precious. Her dress isn't overflowing with ruffles or crystals or ribbons, and I love her for choosing it:

















A bit more stereotypical, what with a sunset and a bouquet. Still, it's not in a grandiose suite but in a shabby-chic apartment without much of a view. Gritty yet soft:
























What I was really expecting is a photo like this, with the nature and the dress. I still like it, just not as much as the others. I do love the hat and the yellow Bug. Could have done without the bouquet and the parasol (why is HE always holding the flowers?).
























This doesn't even look like a wedding photo. It's almost voyeuristic because we're looking through the (dirty) window. Still very unique and pretty ... although AGAIN with him holding those flowers!
























I LOVE these old-fashioned photographs. Tinted just enough to make it old-time-y without turning it into sephia-toned caricatures. So pretty!

The old bus and her umbrella. Perfect. I love the color of her skirt but not her jeojori (저고리, the top part of the outfit).
























He looks too cute with his glasses on. I only knew Jung Tae-Woo from the drama "Mom's Grown Horns," (엄마가 뿔났다), and his character irritated me. I like him a lot better after seeing this photoshoot.

Isn't his fiancee absolutely stunning? The colors of this hanbok (한복, traditional Korean clothing) really make her look like she's glowing. Or perhaps she's secretly pregnant.
























He looks oddly short in a disproportionate way (even taking into consideration the half-sitting, half-standing pose), but the clothes are perfection. The red and green combination she's wearing is traditional for a Korean wedding. I have to say, I don't enjoy her shoes. She should have just worn gomusin (고무신, Korean shoes worn with hanbok that are made of rubber).

















Don't know why she's hiking up her skirt, but I love the weathered house and the framing of the photo. They're adorable.
























I still love the color of her skirt. Beautiful. And brown suits can be so unflattering, but he's rocking it. I think three-piece suits can look overly fussy, especially with a bow tie, but his entire look (Koreans would say "his concept") is spot on, including that suitcase.

















This is more of what I think of when "Korean celebrity gets married" crosses my mind. They managed to put a twist on it with her clothes (a modern hanbok) and their pose (they're not really posing in that prom style, standing while turned towards each other and holding hands demurely).

I have no idea why they would choose to leave the giant black TV in the frame, but whatever. Her hanbok would have been much nicer in a color (she looks so good in color! The purple hanbok, the red-and-green hanbok?). I think the sheer white jeogori makes her look like she forgot to put on the real jeogori.

It's definitely the most "wedding" of all the photos, and still a nicer attempt than what other people put out there.

















Makes me wish I was a wedding planner. No, I don't want to get married. I'd rather work for the people organizing weddings (in this case, Meriel- website in Korean only).

Instead, I'm looking at guinea pigs, hamsters, and mice-- with a scattering of dogs here and there.

sigh.

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Hello? Kitty!

Well, in my defense, I'm an Asian girl.

Isn't this kind of what we do??

Yes ... I ... hmm ... I needed the brushes! Let's go with that.

In case you're a) not a girl b) living somewhere far, far away from a big city c) do not care a single whit about make-up, let me back up and explain.

MAC (I hate that it's called MAC. A 'Mac' is an Apple computer. Let's just call it Make-Up Art Cosmetics, shall we?) came out with a special, limited-edition Hello Kitty set.

I like playing with make-up, but I don't wear it every day (I should, because I look so much better with make-up on), so I've been trying to limit spending money on such frivolities. Seriously, do I need more than one shade of blush? Do I need four different shades of off-white eyeshadow? (I have more than one blush and at least four different shades of off-white eyeshadow.)

I took one look at the colors for the Hello Kitty collection, gagged, and dismissed it. I don't do neon colors, particularly on my face. I don't wear fuchsia blush, I certainly do not use glittery liquid eyeliner, and I'm not a particularly huge fan of big chunky plastic jewelry.

Then I saw the brush set:























Cute much??

Not only cute, but I have a problem. I love brushes! Not hairbrushes, make-up brushes. They are fun and useful and everlasting. I probably have about thirty or so. (Trish McEvoy makes some delicious brushes, as does Bobbi Brown.)

But I did not have the 187, which is the stippling brush (known colloquially as the skunk brush ... ew). I needed that brush. Needed.

So ... I had to do it. Gave in to my baser urges and purchased my first cosmetics in 2009. (I'm not counting any everyday facial products- I need toner and cleanser and moisturizer and essence, I use them every single day! Those are necessities, not trivialities).

For the record, I tried the 187 brush and it is fantastic. Worth the price (so much cheaper to buy the set than the buy the three brushes separately- hey, I saved money!)

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Konglish: Facial Cleanser

Don't get me wrong, I love this particular facial cleanser. I use it almost daily- basically, just days when I have makeup on that needs to be removed from every pore and crevice.

However, the packaging ... well, the words on the packaging ... I guess I never read the words because I know how to use cleansing foam, thank you. Today, I was brushing my teeth and was bored, and the cleanser was sitting on the counter. So I idly picked it up and ... wow, the Konglish:
















I realize the photo is tiny (click on it for a huge picture), so here's what it says:

Aloe

Pure Cleansing Foam

Renewed

skin solution

makes slumberous

skin life

energy with

baby skin

And on the back of the tube, it says:

Soft and abundant foams remove

cleanly wastes in pores and makeup

remainders, and contained Aloe extract

maintains skin fresh without tightness

even after face wash.

Oh, Korean companies. Spend the money and get your products checked out, please. I guess if they did that, though, I wouldn't be endlessly amused every time I go to the Korean make-up counter.

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Didn't Know I Used So Many Products!

I read that the average Korean woman puts a total of 17 products on her face before leaving the house, while the average American woman puts on less than half the amount, anywhere between 2 and 6.

I realize that this is because Korean society is still very much ... shall we say ... patriarchal, with men being the definitely dominating gender. In general, Korean women want to get married, make a good catch, find a man that can take care of them. American women are less worried about pleasing the man in their life and finding that man to try and please. As a Korean-American, I realize that I'm right in the middle, and my actions reflect my position between two dissimilar cultures.

At times, I am a demure Korean woman, speaking softly and politely to my elders, keeping my eyes down, and cooking and cleaning. At other times, I am (the worst kind of) brash American woman, drinking tequila and yelling at people in bars.

Oddly enough, those two different sides of me provide me with a sense of balance. When I need quietness, familiarity, serenity, I draw into my Korean heritage. I recall stories of my various family members (both sides of my family are huge and still mostly reside in Korea). I look at old photos, I cook dishes that remind me of my family, I have long talks over coffee with my mom and sister.

When I need to let loose and just go wild, I am definitely American. My girlfriends and I go out dancing or we just go to a bar, giggling over ill-chosen drinks and having the best time while being jostled by sweaty people and drinking something horrible (red-headed sluts (the drink, not the people) will knock you OUT. Jägermeister is a fickle friend). Sometimes I need that.

I am forever grateful that I am able to have such two distinct parts, and am so glad my parents dragged me here when I was a child. I do appreciate the accent-less English, thank you. I know it's hard to come by for a native Korean speaker, and I get a kick out of the fact that people assume I'm white when they hear me on the phone. The reaction I see when people I know hear me speak in Korean for the first time is also pretty funny. Somehow, they think a girl who speaks perfect American English would be completely incapable of speaking another language! And this includes lots of Koreans that I've worked with that assume I'm totally American and don't speak a lick of Korean.

Back to the point, even the number of products I use reflect my in-between-ness:

1. Clear Lotion
2. Essence
3. Moisturizer
4. Toner
5. Eye cream
6. Sun-care
7. BB cream / foundation
8. Eyebrow pencil
9. Powder
10. Lip care
11. Finishing spray

This is my daily list of products that go on my face after I've washed it. I don't do it quite as extreme as the Koreans, but neither am I as low-maintenance as the Americans. (Unless I go out. That requires lots more makeup and sometimes false eyelashes, which are never a good idea in a bar and yet somehow always present on women in bars).

Struggling to find my identity in a country whose entire existence is based on freedom of expression is a surprisingly difficult task. It's hard to know where to put myself, what category I belong in. In this sense, I am an Asian person. We like knowing exactly what our identities are, exactly where we fit in. That's the reason Asian companies are so corporate and also successful. It's bred into our DNA to be this way, to automatically appraise and assess what class everyone belongs in.

I can only hope that I am able to take the best that both cultures have to offer and leave behind the detritus that will only make me more confused about who I am.

I thought I'd have it together by 26, but I guess I was terribly wrong. Hopefully I'll have it together by ... 30??

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