Monday, February 14, 2011

Happy Heart Day!

Happy Valentine's Day!

I like Valentine's Day because I think it's funny how people get so sappy and sweet. I don't like Valentine's Day because there are only so many shiny pink and red things I can look at before I want to vomit.

Mostly, I think it's a funny holiday, and a good reason to send people things. I would've sent cards, but that requires too much foresight. And I haven't been getting out of work early enough to go buy any cards, or even to go buy supplies to make cards. Everything is closed, the city quiet, by the time I leave work. So I settled for sending some flowers, instead, which is a nice thing, too, I think.

I'm still in a funk, and still not entirely sure of why that is. I haven't really taken the time to think about it or delve into it, because I'm too tired to care, most of the time.

This past weekend was horrible, and I got angrier than I have in a long time on Saturday. I woke Sunday still simmering with wrath, barely managing to tamp it down and get it under control by yesterday evening. Since I'm back at work on this (surprisingly) lukewarm Monday, I'm sure the rage will return tenfold very shortly.

I'm counting down the weeks until I am done and can go home, because I'm very homesick and I'm tired of living here (already). For someone who never wanted to travel before, I really am becoming more and more nomadic, with no desire to stay in any one place for an extended period of time. I guess I'll wait and see what 2011 has in store for me...

The first time I realized that I was happily single was one Valentine's Day, when people were giggling and going about their business with rose-colored glasses perched jauntily on their brains, and it dawned on me that they didn't bother me. At all. I was happy for them, even, and relished their foolishness with a glee that only a single person could have.

Today doesn't feel much like a romantic holiday. Everyone is at work, tired and grumpy, with a terrible case of the Mondays. I'm sure we'll all be at work late, as usual, and not many folks have made plans for tonight. I kind of wish it felt more like Valentine's Day; at least there would be some red-wrapped chocolates around or something. Instead, there's a lot of shouting and sighing.

I suppose I should be marginally alarmed that I now like being alone more than I like being around people, but I don't think I can be called a spinster until I hit 40. That's my reasoning, anyway. This is the time in my life where I'm supposed to want to be alone, right? After all, once I meet that person that I'm going to marry, I will never be alone again for the rest of my life. What a scary thought.

For now, I'm going to try to survive this slump, get through the rest of this show, and then figure out where I'm going from there.

Happy Valentine's Day, internet! May your day be filled with more chocolate than mine.