Thursday, September 24, 2009

Always, Always, Always Greener Grass

I don't know that the title of this post is apt, because what I'm currently feeling is "always, always, always want what I can't have, even if I didn't want it when I could have had it." But that's just a tad bit long for a post title, and we can't have that.

Perhaps that title should be amended, to "always, always, always want what I can't have, especially if I didn't want it when I could have had it." It's certainly true.

I generally feel that I have a very tight rein on myself. I'm a Gemini, and while the rest of it is pretty bogus, the bit about the duality is spot on. I have two sides, I have two minds, I have to hearts and two tongues. I am two people, constantly at war with one another.

At work, I have to let my right brain dominate. I'm very Type A, decisive, forceful, loud, obnoxiously so when I want to be, and I get my point across clearly. (I think.) People have told me that they don't understand how I can be so confident.

Because I can fake it, that's how.

At home, I am a wreck. We'll leave it at that, because to describe any further would just depress me (even more).

I don't need any external forces making my dichotomy any harder to handle. Especially when already weakened with a nasty fever and sore throat (sore like it's never been sore before, I have no idea what's going on).

Luckily, the physical symptoms have waned. It's all about my mental stresses now. And while I know you don't read this (I don't tell my friends I have a blog, is that weird? Maybe I just like my privacy, leavemealone), I'm going to put this message out there for the universe to right the wrong that you have done me:


As sarcastic as I am, I like to be happy. I like to think that there is fun to be had, I like being around fun people, I like to do stupid things. So please let me stick with the stuff I like, instead of being constantly sucked back into your weirdness and drama and unintelligible nonsense.

My brain is oozing around in my skull right now. Time for caffeine, methinks. Or a lobotomy.

I have to say, during my sick day on Tuesday, I watched "I Dream of Jeannie" and "Bewitched," and I really miss those shows, despite their misogynist undertones and shockingly horrible make-up. Oh, blonde magical women, where have you gone?? Why is it all vampires all the time now?? (I haven't read or watched "Twilight," but am SO SICK of those two. Robert Pattinson (Patterson?) and Kristen (Kirsten?) Stewart? Please go away.)

Now that I'm thinking of T.V.:

- "Bored to Death," on HBO, is really funny in a kind of sad way. I feel like it's trying to be "Adaptation," perhaps. Charlie Kaufman can't be touched, but it's still enjoyable. The director has worked on "Mad Men" and "The Sopranos," and it shows- he knows what to do with HBO fodder.

- "Eastwick," on ABC, was surprisingly funny. What's with networks not advertising their new fall shows? I haven't seen any billboards for this one! Similar but different from "The Witches of Eastwick," with a less-stellar cast (though with Jack Nicholson, Michelle Pfeiffer, Susan Sarandon, and Cher, what would a MORE-stellar cast be??). I'll tune in next week, see how it progresses.

- "Project Runway." Not really liking anyone yet. They're all annoying.

- "America's Next Top Model." I can't help it. It's like watching a car accident. But now with short girls. The only one I remember is the redhead (Nicole?), the others are all ... blaaaaaah.

- "Entourage," on HBO. So much better this season, mostly because Vince is only present about five minutes of every episode. Less Vince, more Eric, please!

- "Glee," on Fox. LOVE.

Yeah, I watch a lot of T.V. I think ... mostly ... it's because of the DVR. I blame the DVR, totally and without regret. Skipping commercials, there when I'm ready- it's like a husband, only all it deals with is T.V. shows!

Tippety-tappety-typing about T.V. shows has de-stressed me somewhat. Thanks, blog. I knew you were useful for something!


Diana E. September 24, 2009 at 7:40 PM  

OMG, I love I Dream of Genie and Bewitched, even though the feminist in me rebels against it.

I hope it gets better for you soo.

william September 24, 2009 at 7:41 PM  

love tv.

i must say, this cycle of top model is a vast improvement from cycle 12.

do you watch top chef? this season they're in las vegas, and they have a really great group of talented candidates.

hope you feel better!


jeanny September 25, 2009 at 10:16 AM  

Thanks, guys! You're like my disembodied friends that I don't actually know ... but I know. I love it.

I stopped watching "Top Chef," I think after the second season? Maybe I need to get back into it.

TV is always a good distraction from life. Movies and books, too. I just need more media, I think.