2010 Oscars Nominees

I care about the Academy Awards. Truly, I do.

I even worked on two movies that won Oscars. I celebrated those wins and loved that experience, the headiness of knowing that something I had worked on was being recognized by people all over the world.

So I'm perplexed as to why I can't muster up any enthusiasm this year, particularly for the visual effects category. The nominees:

Avatar
District 9
Star Trek

I am sort of anti-Avatar just because it's the big behemoth that stomps over everything else. I had the chance to work on the movie and I turned it down, knowing full well that I was turning down the chance to work on an epic, enormous film. I also turned down the dubious honor of working for a temperamental director that (allegedly) abuses his crew to no end.

For me, choosing to work on a film is all about timing and even more about the people that I will be spending countless hours with. If I like a particular producer, I will follow that producer to hell and back and probably even have fun along the way. If I don't like the producer ... let's not even speak of such things.

Even the nominees for animated features didn't stir me much:

Coraline
Fantastic Mr. Fox
The Princess and the Frog
The Secret of Kells
Up

Granted, I've only watched two of the three (Coraline and Up), and though I enjoyed them, I'm still not feeling much oomph. I'll be surprised if Up doesn't take it- it was beautiful and very meticulously executed. It would be amazing if Up were to win both the animated feature and best picture categories- I would feel somehow vindicated, I would feel that animation is not an outside industry, but a real part of Hollywood. Bullied younger sibling no more!

I'm really tired. My exhaustion from the past couple months has finally caught up to me now that I've had a minute to sit still and rest and let the buzzing in my brain take over. I haven't had to squash my thoughts or run around every minute of the day. It's wonderful, but also really tiring. There's no adrenaline to keep me going anymore, it's just willpower at this point.

I think by the time the Oscars actually roll around, I'll probably have more passion for movies again. I just need to finish working on this one before I can find that emotion again, I suppose.

For now, I'm planning my future (interviews, job scouting, resume-editing, all that jazz) and trying to squeeze in some travel- definitely a wine tour with my sister, definitely a trek to San Francisco to see my two best friends, and, if I have the bravery and monetary ability to, I'd like to take a long plane journey to the motherland (William, I'm looking at you!).

So close to leaving the rabbit hole ... it's making me a bit sad, really. I think I have Stockholm Syndrome- I was held captive and longed for escape, but now that the day of escape is near, I'm afraid to leave.

We'll see where life takes me from here.